Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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