38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize