I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize