I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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