You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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