How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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