i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize