I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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