you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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