I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
