I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The uberlube is also flammable
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
