U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I intend to get homeless drunk
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
