how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
That reminds me...we need to get swords
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
