don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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