Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
