the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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