yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
