well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
it glows. i had to have it.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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