She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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