my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
