Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
