why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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