Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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