I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
