JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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