so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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