I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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