oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
