I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
