operation have a gay friend backfired
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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