oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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