Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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