Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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