idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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