I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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