Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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