so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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