we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
