Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize