She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
