I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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