Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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