I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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