my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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