why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
