seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
