I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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