I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
