Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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