He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
