MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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