The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
