you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
