my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
