Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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