Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
