I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize