whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
