i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
