You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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