youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Let's paint friendship bongs
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
