I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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