i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He told me they were just razor bumps!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
