I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
