hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
