Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
