The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
