just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
