How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize