Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
