Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
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